Chaque année en France, le dernier dimanche de mai, on célèbre les mamans.
Des petits poèmes, des bouquets, des attentions…
Et pourtant, bien souvent, derrière les sourires de façade, il y a de la fatigue. Une lassitude silencieuse. Parfois même, une culpabilité.
Parce qu’on célèbre la mère, mais on oublie la femme. On applaudit ce qu’elle donne, sans regarder ce qu’elle perd.
Et si, cette année, la fête des mères devenait un vrai tournant pour toi?
Un moment où, au lieu de t’oublier, tu décidais enfin de te choisir.
Tu ne peux pas donner ce que tu ne t’offres pas
Être maman, c’est aimer inconditionnellement. C’est donner, porter, rassurer, consoler, organiser, et tellement plus encore!
Mais il arrive un moment où le réservoir se vide. Tu le sais : quand tu t’énerves ou que tu cries plus vite que d’habitude. Quand tu n’as plus envie de parler. Quand tu rêves juste d’un silence.
On croit que c’est normal. Que c’est “comme ça”.
Mais non, ce n’est pas “le rôle de mère”, c’est un signal d’alerte.
Si ces signes te parlent, je t’invite à lire mon article sur le burn-out parental
Quand tu es à bout, tu ne peux pas être patience.
Tu ne peux pas offrir de l’amour si tu t’en refuses à toi-même.
Et si on arrêtait de glorifier le sacrifice silencieux, et qu’on osait dire :
“Moi aussi, j’ai besoin qu’on prenne soin de moi. Et ce quelqu’un, ce sera moi.”
5 façons de te choisir dès aujourd’hui
Pas besoin forcément de partir loin.
Parfois, 15 minutes de présence à toi-même suffisent pour changer toute une journée.
🌿 Prends 15 minutes pour toi, tous les jours.
Lis. Respire. Ferme les yeux. Fais un pas de côté.
📵 Coupe ton téléphone.
Même juste une heure. Retrouve ton espace mental.
🗓️ Bloque un rendez-vous avec toi dans ton agenda.
Oui, un vrai. Comme tu le ferais pour ton enfant ou ton boss.
💬 Exprime un besoin.
“J’ai besoin d’aide.” “J’ai besoin d’un moment seule.”
Tu as le droit.
🌸 Apprends à dire non.
Mais pas n’importe comment…
Apprendre à dire non : un acte d’amour envers soi (et sa famille)
En tant que maman, il est souvent difficile de dire non : non à une demande de plus, non à une sollicitation professionnelle, non à une sortie de dernière minute alors qu’on est épuisée…
Pourtant, apprendre à poser ses limites est essentiel pour préserver son bien-être et celui de sa famille.
Pourquoi est-ce si difficile de dire non ?
Les femmes, et particulièrement les mères, sont souvent socialisées à faire passer les besoins des autres avant les leurs (Gilligan, 1982). Cette tendance à la « sur-adaptation » peut mener à l’épuisement, à la frustration et au sentiment de ne jamais en faire assez.
Dire non, c’est se respecter
Des études montrent que savoir poser des limites claires réduit le stress, l’anxiété et le risque de burn-out parental (Mikolajczak et al., 2018). Dire non, ce n’est pas être égoïste, c’est reconnaître ses besoins et se donner la permission de les honorer.
“Apprendre à dire non, c’est se donner le droit d’exister pour soi-même, pas seulement pour les autres.”
— Dr Christophe André, psychiatre et auteur
Dire non, c’est aussi montrer l’exemple
En osant dire non, tu montres à tes enfants qu’ils ont, eux aussi, le droit de poser leurs limites. Tu leur transmets un modèle d’affirmation de soi, fondamental pour leur équilibre futur (Neff & Germer, 2018).
En cette fête des mères, offre-toi le droit de dire non.
Parce qu’un non sincère vaut mieux qu’un oui à contrecœur.
Et parce que prendre soin de toi, c’est aussi prendre soin de ceux que tu aimes.
Savoir demander de l’aide : un acte de force, pas de faiblesse
On nous a souvent appris à “gérer”, à tenir bon, à “s’en sortir toute seule”.
Comme si demander de l’aide était un aveu d’échec.
Mais demander de l’aide, c’est au contraire un acte de lucidité et d’amour de soi.
Déléguer pour respirer
Et si demander de l’aide, ce n’était pas juste pour « gagner du temps »… mais pour te redonner de l’air ?
Faire appel à une femme de ménage, à une baby-sitter le mercredi, à un proche pour garder les enfants une heure — ce n’est pas un luxe. C’est une stratégie de survie douce.
Pas pour faire encore plus. Pour faire autrement.
Et si la vraie fête des mères, c’était toute l’année ?
L’objectif n’est pas de libérer ce temps pour travailler davantage,
mais peut-être pour rester une heure de plus au calme, prendre un bain, sortir marcher seule dans la nature, ou simplement… ne rien faire.
Parce que tu n’as pas à mériter ton repos.
Tu n’as pas à justifier ton besoin de vide.
Et si tu n’as pas encore de solution évidente, commence petit :
- Demande à ton enfant de t’aider à ranger
- Laisse tomber une tâche non essentielle
Partage ton ressenti à ton entourage
Demander de l’aide, ce n’est pas baisser les bras. C’est tendre la main vers soi-même.
Ce dimanche, peut-être qu’on te dira « bonne fête ». Peut-être qu’on t’offrira un dessin.
Mais le plus beau cadeau que tu puisses TE faire, c’est de décider de TE célébrer chaque jour.
Pas en exigeant. Mais en choisissant, chaque matin, de ne pas t’oublier.
Parce que tu es bien plus qu’une maman. Tu es une femme. Vivante. Entière. Et digne d’amour — y compris du tien.
“Une maman épanouie, c’est un foyer qui respire.”
Bonne fête à toi!
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